My ‘closest,’ ‘indirect’ encounter with the Dalai Lama is through some good friends who were privileged to have had a private darshan with His Holiness in Dharamshala. Sherna Danani describes him as being “so alive with happiness, so vibrant and brimming with positive energy – smiling and laughing all the time. He entered the room, and it became alive.”
The visit was as a result of their son, Jai, having selected the Tibetan Children’s Village as his ‘Peace Initiative’ project at the Singapore American School. The money collected was sent for school supplies and resulted in the family being invited for an audience with the Dalai Lama.
Jai recalls, “He held my hand throughout our meeting, and his first question was, “How did an Indian boy in an American school in Singapore take up the cause of Tibet?”
Thus, while reading his The Art of Happiness, it was easy to visualize that the guidelines to finding happiness obviously came from a great man who believes, and practices, what he preaches.
In this book which has been topping the bestseller charts world over, Howard Cutler, renowned psychiatrist and neurologist, presents excerpts from his conversations with the Dalai Lama and from public talks given during His Holiness’ tour of Arizona in 1993. Cutler asks the Nobel Peace Prize winner questions about problems we all encounter in our daily lives and how to deal with them – anger and loneliness; anxiety and jealousy; greed and depression; unhappiness and suffering; and coping with the death of a loved one. Cutler substantiates these with his interpretations and case studies from his own practice.
In a nutshell, the Dalai Lama stresses simply that we can achieve happiness in a practical and logical manner, but cautions that it will not come to us instantly. We need to practice to achieve it. This is explained in straightforward, simple language, yet with a great deal of depth and intensity. He says we must realize that negative emotions and actions are harmful to us, and positive emotions are beneficial. For this we have to identify and cultivate a positive mental state and use it to help us identify and eliminate negative mental thoughts.
Happiness, says the Dalai Lama, is a form of contentment. And contentment comes from being satisfied with what you have – and not craving for something you do not have.
The Dalai Lama asserts that it is up to each individual to either attain a sense of happiness or to add to one’s own suffering and pain. It has been scientifically acknowledged that by activating out thoughts and exercising our minds with new ways of thinking, we can change the way our brain cells function.
We are shown how, to a great extent, our day-to-day emotional and mental suffering also depends upon how we react to a given situation. A common condition we encounter, and which bothers many of us, is when we find out that someone is speaking badly of us behind our back. If we react to this negative news with hurt and anger, then we are destroying our mental peace and are creating our own pain. The Dalai Lama reminds us that nothing is permanent, and if we decide to ignore this gossip, which will end sooner or later, we will be less hurt. We must realize that while we cannot always control and avoid unpleasant situations, we can control to what intensity they will hurt us, by choosing to ignore or accept them.
We are told that to achieve true happiness, we must develop an understanding of the various sources of happiness and cultivate them. This means disciplining the mind to root out destructive, negative mental states and replace them with positive, constructive thoughts such as kindness, tolerance, and forgiveness.
He goes on to speak of spirituality (as differing from religion) as the final component that leads to a full and satisfying (and happy) life. He stresses the importance of prayers as a part of our spiritual life because they are simple daily reminders of our faith, belief, and convictions. And he advises that they should also serve as reminders of how we should speak to others, deal with people, and deal with our problems.
His firm conviction is adequate to give us hope. He believes that human nature is predominantly gentle and compassionate rather than aggressive. And if we see others around us like this, we will gain trust in our fellow humans and feel safe and assured. And this makes us feel happier.
The Dalai Lama offers chronic worriers a simple, oft-heard – and perhaps foolproof – solution: “If there is a solution to a problem there is no need to worry. If there is no solution, there is no sense in worrying either.”
The Art of Happiness – A Handbook For Living
© 1998 HH Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler
Hodder & Stoughton – A Coronet Paperback 1999 |
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