November 16, 2004
The endoscopic ultrasound was done by an ex-Mayo Clinic gastroenterologist- of high repute. We were told it should take about an hour, but it was almost two hours before the doctor came out to meet me in the waiting room. “Well, it all seems a bit abnormal” were the first words. The doctor continued that he had taken some tissue specimens from the pancreatic area and was sending them for a biopsy.

Nov 18
The Doctor called me on the cell, while I was at work, and he wanted us to meet him the next day. The preliminary result of the Biopsy has been received, and it was positive-- there seemed to be a low grade malignancy in the pancreas. Cancer. The dreaded word- and us? The same evening I went alone and met the doctor, and received a copy of the report from the procedure done two days earlier. The doctor maintained that per his experience, the malignancy did not seem to be limited to the pancreas. I prepped my wife, slowly, that things were not all normal with the report, without talking about the impact of the malignancy.

We made our first of many day visits to the Vedic Heritage temple during the two-month period. Just sitting in the quiet aura of Baba, during the day when the lights were dim, spending minutes of thoughts and shedding a tear. Thinking of Guru Maa, and wishing she was near to us, in body and spirit.

Nov 21
Our daughter came home, for the Thanksgiving break. We decided not to let her become aware of the condition- she had the semester exams right after the break, and we tried not to disrupt her life, at least for then.

Nov 22
We were still hoping that maybe the biopsy results were inaccurate. So I sent a cut from the biopsy slides to a family friend in DC, who is a pathologist in one of the leading Defense medical research labs, for a second opinion.

Nov 24
I took an appointment with my wife’s primary care doctor– an Internal Medicine doctor, who had discussed the biopsy and the ultrasound tests with the gastroenterologist. The meeting was short, and abrupt. I was told that the doctor was sorry, and that we had young kids, but there was little that could be done. I asked her about the chances of survival, and did not get a straight answer.

Time spent on the Internet showed that less than 25% of pancreatic cancer patients last a year, and only 4% survive after 5 years. Pancreatic cancer has the lowest 5 year survival of any cancer. The average life expectancy once the diagnosis of pancreatic cancer is made is usually less than six months. It was tough, trying to be normal, coming to terms with reality. Finding new meanings in the Kal Ho Na Ho song.

Nov 29
We dropped our daughter at the airport, and were happy that we had held up our feelings in the presence of our children. Our eight year old son was with us, but seemingly oblivious to his surroundings.

The same day, the results from DC came back positive- the pathologists confirmed the presence of low grade malignancy in the cells contained in the specimen.

For the first time, both of us really broke down. And then came together. I took on the task of finding the best place to get treatment for my wife. And my wife turned to the only specialist she knew- Guru Maa. We had heard about miracles that other devotees had experienced, and my wife insisted, that only Guru Maa could provide a cure. We both had faith that Guru Maa was blessed with powers that were beyond the ordinary, but were uncertain on how to contact her.

Everyone at the Mandir quickly became a source of help and strength. We came to the temple, met both the Pandits and told them that we needed to contact Guru Maa. Both the Pandits immediately sensed that all was not well, and we told them that Doctors had indicated that there could be a problem to my wife’s life. Bade Panditji simply said " Why do you worry- aap to intna Bhakti karti hain, jaiye, kuch nahin hoiga. Arre Doctor ne kaha hain-- koi Bhagwan to nahin kahe!" ("Why do you worry- both of you have so much devotion- nothing will happen- doctors do not decide about life and death- only God does!"). Chote Panditji also sat down with us and gave us the strength to have faith in Baba.

My wife continued to insist that only Guru Maa could save the situation. She was in Lonavala in India, and we had never contacted her outside of the temple. We took the contact number from Panditji and called Lonavala. Spoke to Guru Maa and explained to her what her absence had brought upon us. A broken voice and several minutes later, we were given some hope. Faith matters. Guru Maa said that she has kept her hand on our daughter’s head, and Baba will not take away our daughter’s mother. Guru Maa told us to call her as often as necessary, and also said that Baba will take care of us, and my wife had to live for the sake of our children—we must also continue with whatever treatment the doctors were recommending. The medical prognosis was bleak, but then my wife had faith, and I did not have any thing else to offer. And faith is what came through.

Dec 15
An appointment was managed at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in the city. We had to take another cut from the biopsy specimen, and had a repeat MRI and CT Scan scheduled at the Sloan Center on the same day. We were asked to come back after a week.

Dec 22
Both the CT and MRI at Sloan confirmed the presence of a tumor, that was fairly large in size, and in close proximity to a central gland. If it was blocking the gland, surgery for tumor removal becomes very complicated. The biopsy results from the Sloan lab came back- third time positive for a low grade malignancy. A surgical procedure called Whipple Procedure was proposed, whereby the head of the pancreas, the gallbladder, common bile duct, part of the duodenum and part of the stomach are removed.

My daughter, an aspiring doctor, joined us after her exams, and became another source of help and positive energy. A date of January 3 was fixed for the surgery, then was pushed back to January 10. My parents came from Delhi, as did my wife’s brother from Lucknow. My wife prepared for the big day, with a picture of Baba always on her side, and strength from prayer. A call to Guru Maa to hear her voice of encouragement brought comfort and hope. Guru Maa maintained that my wife must go into surgery with confidence and with Baba in her mind and prayers. Faith would prevail.

January 10, 2005
The surgery took about 6 hours, and after an agonizing wait, and countless prayers, we were told that the surgery had been successfully completed. The surgical excision samples were sent for biopsy, and a few days later, the results were given to us. The malignancy was no longer there. Miracle. The final biopsy report took a couple of weeks, and explanations were hard to find. At least not in the world of science and medicine! Doctors at Sloan would tell my wife that hers was the second case in many years where a patient had come in with malignant pancreatic biopsies and MRI/CT scan tumors, yet walked out cancer-free. 10 days after the surgery, I drove my wife back home, of course, first stopping at the Hanuman Temple, for one of many expressions of gratitude.

Those months were the worst of times, but also the best of times. We got advice, encouragement and prayers, from near and dear and also from people we hardly knew. Family from India contributed by their versions of 'distant healing'! Friends and co-workers chipped in- the management at my workplace gave unstinted support, making me feel as a part of a very large family- the organization- and letting me take care of my 'personal' family! We were truly blessed, and exposed to so much of that is good in our fellow humans.

Recovery was painful and slow, but we had life to look forward to. My wife had lost about 30 pounds and there was this feeling that we had climbed our own Mount Everest. It was exhausting, humbling and we were so fortunate that we were given so many blessings and love from the temple and from Guru Maa. All we had was faith, and yes, faith is what mattered, and pulled us through.

Jai Shri Hanuman!